Abe journal badmoon
Entry 1
Found my brother. He goes by Jace now. I'm not really sure what I realistically expected from this meeting. It's a shocking revelation, yes - wasn't really sure if I'd be met with joy, skepticism, confusion, anger. It was certainly anger.
Nothing else seemed to even register. As soon as I started trying to explain, I could tell that he believed me, there didn't seem to be much in the way of doubt - but he was furious..and terrified? I was afraid that he was going to throttle me.
So then I looked at him to see what exactly was going on beneath the surface. I was not expecting what I found, that alarming sense of being stalked, hunted - a warm prickling on the back of my neck and the sudden smell of dog as if he had a big ass husky sitting there between us. My brother is one of them.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe...he wasn't going to attack me, but he was genuinely full of anger. Very sudden anger. He told me to fuck off. I tried to explain my situation - all I need is for this jerk to sign a piece of paper and we can both never see each other again. Once I mentioned foster care, something flipped inside him. His anger didn't fade, but it took a sharp turn. He thought I was trying to blackmail him, though I'm not sure what I possibly had on him in order to use as leverage. He wanted to meet somewhere later that night and talk more.
Yeah...so you can stuff me into a trunk like the other guy? Toss me off a bridge or who knows... I suggested a public place and we agreed on a Starbucks.
So yeah. Wow. That went terribly. Really, really awful. I considered leaving right there. But that would mean either living as a runaway or being yanked back into the foster system for another two years. Ugh. I just need his signature...
So Starbucks was unpleasant - at least he wasn't yelling this time. He seems to think I'm out to ruin his life or something - or looking for a handout. I don't want his money (although I'm also not going to hand off a pile of it to a waitress at Starbucks as a tip when he flings it at me and leaves). So I really seemed to hit a nerve with the foster care thing. Apparently he had it really bad in the system. It was no Easter parade for me, but from his reaction, he must have had a much worse experience than I have. He clearly wants me to fuck off, but at the same time, he seems torn on the issue now - though it's difficult to see much of anything through the volumes of snark and spite that he somehow manages to insert into every syllable that comes out of his mouth. I also may have accidentally said that I was here with Cameron. That also summoned up a whole lot of attitude. What's the deal??
Chatted with Cameron. So apparently Jace was being used by Cameron's parents - drug running or something. And something happened and Cameron took the fall for Jace and went to prison or juvie or something. Draaaaaaaama... Not my drama. Just so long as their love spat doesn't fuck up my chances...
Cameron convinced me to go crash a Sorority party with him. I was having a pretty chill time, enjoying the college party experience, chatting up some Frat guy who kept talking about...I'm not sure what he was talking about - he was hot and I had his attention - then Jace showed up with some friends. His glare turned to ice as soon as it washed over me, so I decided to make myself scarce and checked out the back deck.
I was having a vape enjoying my fruity mystery cocktail when an older woman approached me. It was quickly apparent that she was a teacher out to spoil all fun, making comments about underage drinking and looking pointedly at my cup. Bitch. Why are you even at this party. I thought college was supposed to be about freedom. Then I saw her, and I could tell that she noticed it.
But she was...something else. Not like any of the others I'd ever seen that were off. She was...worse. Ice prickled up my spine, the smell of old dirt - like that smell that lingers in the air at a funeral, when they have the plot opened up for the coffin - was everywhere, but worse - imagine like many open grave plots, but imagine the smell if they were full of corpses. Everything seemed dark, dead and wrong and her eyes snapped directly to mine. She got this super intense look, like a crazy person or a predatory bird about to swoop down on it's prey and started asking me who I was, what I was, how I knew about her. She was trying to corner me on the deck.
I jumped over the deck railing and swung up behind her and bolted into the party where I could lose her easily amongst the people. Except that I couldn't. No matter where I went or how hard I tried to vanish, she was still there behind me, wading through the throngs of people as if they were blades of grass before a stalking lion. Was no one else seeing this thing wading through their midst?? I'm about to be murdered at a Sorority party - not how I imagined my life would end.
I couldn't lose her, but she's older and spindly, so I'm guessing I could outrun her. I make my way out the front door and take off...only to be snatched up off my feet by Jace. Shit. He's holding me there like some puppy trying to escape it's mom and the Creepy Corpse Lady catches up. The two of them begin to argue while I'm being firmly held in place by Jace. As she begins a barrage of odd questions to Jace about my identity and Jace deflects, a man in black steps into view and says something about his brother and lobs a grenade onto the ground between the three of us.
A grenade.
A grenade...
I'm living in a life that somehow involves grenades.
Fuck me.
Entry 2
So my brother is a werewolf. That's a thing.
Oh - and Cameron? He's a lying fuck head who used me lure Jace into some sort of confrontation. And by confront I mean threaten to shoot him in the back with a gun.
So...where was I before? Party. Grenade.
More later.